maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My pussy is not your playground.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
