"it" just moved
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
please don't ironically join a cult
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