Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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