He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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