i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
