how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
