Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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