i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
