next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
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I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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