all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
