I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
