I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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