wakey wakey hands off snakey
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
