dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
