you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let's get the cat blown out
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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