i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
