He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
