His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
