Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
