he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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