hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
