Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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