we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
