Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
