is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
