I think i peed on brittanys purse
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
