Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He did a backflip because drugs
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
