bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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