okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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