It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
