yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
