I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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