We need to rekindle our bromance
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
