He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
