There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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