i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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