Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Shame - the story of my life.
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