she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
