she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
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5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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