There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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