If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize