I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
