im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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