Fuck appropriateness.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
