My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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