The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
