I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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