This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
