I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
