i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
