This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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