Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
