All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
