Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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