btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
