Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
