sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
