Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
