found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
