The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
