The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
