Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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