Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
