Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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