Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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