P.S. I can't hear my feet
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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