I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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