Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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