exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Drunk walkin through police station. America
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
