Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
