how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
